We’ve all had that one super paranoid teacher who would basically strip search us before exams to make sure we weren’t cheating. We always viewed it as a huge violation of privacy and trust, but we damn well know that we’re only as law-abiding as the teacher requires us to be. No phones during

Big weekend in Kentucky. The Kentucky Derby is going down this weekend so the priorities are to get shitfaced on mint juleps and hitting on equally inebriated females while you unknowingly have a mint leaf stuck in your front teeth. Ain’t nobody got time to study for exams with the ponies running

For those of you who didn’t cut corners in college, please see yourselves out. Thanks for clicking, but this post may be lost on you. This is for the bros and broettes who spent more time trying to swindle the system than they did studying for exams. If that sounds inefficient to you, you’re right.

I don’t like math, mostly because I grasp mathematical concepts as well as a stapler does. That’s why I write cerebral articles about explosive diarrhea and dildo selfie sticks. Sorry mom, guess your plan for me to be an accountant probably was a more favorable career path. Any-who, I would fail

Starting the day after I graduated college I started having dreams that I was sitting in my house, doing dick-all and out of nowhere suddenly realized I’d forgotten to turn in a paper or take an exam. Fucking terrifying in the moment, but annoying once I woke up because I wasn’t even in college